Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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