Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
