If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
