i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
