Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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