ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
