I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
