There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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