just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
