The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
