Sry I called you an 8
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
