someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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