dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I understand Curling. That high.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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