But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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