If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
