I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
