Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
