Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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