No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
