he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
