I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
