im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
