So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
