he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
