I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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