please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
