I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
