Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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