my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
