just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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