So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
