Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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