So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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