Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
