We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
