yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
