craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
