And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
