If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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