The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
