I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
