we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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