So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
