and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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