I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
