You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
