Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
