if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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