So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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