I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
